Here are the cakes I did the last two weekends.
My "business" is surely growing and that is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. It's caused quite a stir of emotions in me this week. Almost as though I'm having somewhat of an identity crisis. I've realized, and it's odd that cake has made me feel this way, that I don't really know who I am. I'm not really aware of what I like and dislike, what I want to be, who I want to be, who I am. It's been very confusing. I have spent so much of my life trying to be the person I believe people think I should be, the person I think people will like(although it has somehow drastically backfired). I feel as though my whole life (at least from the teens to present) has been a front to get people to like me. And somehow I have so few people that actually do like me. Don't take that the wrong way, I do have friends and family that love me, but I have put so many others off. People are constantly telling me I am abrasive, opinionated, stuck up, too quiet, and that I don't get along well with others. I have hurt so many and turned away so many more. All the while I felt as though I was trying so hard to be like-able. I have never wanted anything more in life than to be liked (read "popular"). That worldly desire has done nothing but keep me from being me, whoever that is.
I've been doing a lot of pondering and soul searching, but I don't feel like I'm getting any closer to answers. How is it that I am nearly 30 years old and I still don't know who I am?
